A Typical Day
by Alpacca Joe
Summary: A typical day in the life of the students of Jefferson Lawndale High. Based on the "Ghetto Daria" fan pic by S.C. on deviantART. Check it out! T for language.
1. A Typical Morning at Jefferson

**A Typical Morning at Jefferson**  
>420/11

Jane slipped her chain over her head as she waited for Daria to walk through the metal detectors, then the two of them moved toward their shared locker. Jane turned and gave someone the stank-eye for scuffing the toe of her boot, then shot them the bird when they gave her the eye right back.

"You hear about BB?"

"If I had," Daria muttered around a wad of gum. "Would I care?"

Jane leaned back against the dingy lockers and watched the crowd with a sharp blue eye as Daria dug out books and stowed her large overcoat; she had been warned one too many times about sneaking food into class, not to mention selling tests out of the pockets in the girls' bathroom.

"Shawnika saw her at Planned on Saturday." Jane reached into Daria's coat pocket and snagged a piece of gum, ignoring the other girl's glare. "Said she was getting a pregnancy test."

Daria snorted, stepped back and took up watch as Jane moved to switch her books and dump the random crap she had accumulated into the locker.

"The stupid girl would save a lot of money if she just cleared out the feminine hygiene aisle of CVS."

The girls shared a chuckle, which was abruptly cut off on Daria's end as a couple kids came walking up to them.

"Hey, Big Mike," Jane greeted with a smirk.

After the usual perfunctory skin 'n bones with Daria and Jane, Big Mike stuck his hands low in his pockets and slouched in place.

"Sup?"

"Nathan." Jane shrugged. "You hear about BB?"

"God," Jodie, Big Mike's girlfriend, rolled her eyes and passed a hand over her improbable blonde hair. "If I hear one more story about Baby Brit and her trip to Planned Parenthood, I'ma pull my hair out."

"Please do," Daria snarked with an unusually vicious gleam to her eye. "Spare all of us the sight of that K Mart weave."

"Oh, no you did _not_-"

"Whoa, easy baby," Big Mike murmured, a restraining arm around Jodie's shoulders while Jane laughed.

"So what you think about BB?" Jane addressed the tall boy, who was at the moment checking his corn rows in the open locker's mirror. He shrugged, then shot the girls a rare smile, and spared a wink for Daria.

"I think she needs to stop smokin' that crack."

The three of them laughed, Jodie giving Daria the stankest of the stank-eyes and shooting the shorter girl messages with every pass of her baby-browns. Down the hall, Kev and Baby Brit emerged from the throng of surly students. Kev caught sight of Big Mike and barked a few times to catch his attention.

"I'ma catch y'all later." Big Mike offered his fist first to Daria, who tapped it daintily with her own, then to Jane who pounded it soundly. Before he moved off, Daria dropped a stick of gum, then a cigarette into his large palm. Mike tipped her another lazy wink, the corner of his mouth quirked in a tiny, secret smile. "Good lookin' out."

"And for your information, Miss Thing," Jodie called over her shoulder as the couple turned away. "This is all _real_ hair."

"Horse hair doesn't count, _Miss_ Jodelia," Daria called back.

"I got my eye on you, white girl."

"I know you _do_," Jane interceded, and blew the retreating blonde a few suggestive kisses. Jodie just rolled her eyes and parked her hand in Big Mike's back pocket. Soon, they were out of sight.

Jane sighed, smile hungry.

"That's my future ex-wife, right there."

Daria slammed the locker shut, replaced the thick padlock and hiked her backpack up higher on her shoulder.

"Leave it alone, horndog," she advised. "You know Jodie doesn't swing that way."

"Not that she'll' admit," Jane agreed. "But who says she needs to?"

"Down, girl."

Jane howled playfully, bumped knuckles with a red-haired boy wearing _entirely_ too much bling, and the two disappeared down the hall just as the warning bell sounded.


	2. A Typical Day at Jefferson

**A Typical Day at Jefferson**

Daria and Jane had just settled on the back steps of the school when the steel doors behind them banged open. They hunched their shoulders, sighed, and waited for the yelling to start.

"Whadup, bitchesssss!"

Laughing with relief, the girls turned to see Jeffy and Joey trotting down the steps. Greetings were exchanged, Jeffy plopping on the concrete to Jane's right while Joey handed Daria a dollar bill. She handed him back two cigarettes, and he passed one to his companion.

"Good lookin'," Jeffie muttered around his cigarette as he lit up, and Daria nodded back.

"What is you _fine_-ass ladies doin' out here all alone?" Joey set himself on the concrete ledge above and to the right of his friend and pulled a paper bag out of his backpack. He passed the ginger a bottle of Tropical Fantasy blue raspberry soda, and kept a plain cola for himself.

"You gettin' it on without us?" Jeffy blew out a column of smoke, then grinned playfully at the girls. "You know we love to watch that shit."

"You know the deal." Daria pulled a paper plate out of her own bag, unrolled it and took a bite out of a steaming slice of pizza. "Cash upfront."

"You weren't at the Zon last night." Jane pulled a large sausage roll out of another bag and took a careful bite. "Chuck was spinning; he got us in _gratis._"

"Naw, we had shit to take care of." Joey cast a sly eye on his friend, who grinned back.

"We fucked last night, son!"

The girls nearly choked on their food laughing as the boisterous duo exchanged pounds, pushing one another and laughing uproariously.

"Yeah, this muthafucka ripped me a new asshole!" Jeffy crowed, then held his hand out for a bite of Jane's roll. She passed it over, and he handed her his cigarette in exchange. "I'ma be walking funny for a _while_, yo."

Joey offered Daria his soda, and she took a long swig before handing it back. She dug into her bag, removed a couple garlic knots and passed one to each of the boys.

"Where's Lucentio?" she asked, referring to the absent blond member of their trio. The boys exchanged a knowing glance, shaking their heads so that their du-rags flopped behind them.

"Dumb muthafucka got caught by the dean."

"He got busted," Jeffy took his mostly spent cigarette back and dragged on it deeply. "Tryin' to sneak out to get Quinn a ham and cheese calzone."

Jane smirked, took a last bite of her lunch and handed the remaining quarter to Joey who nodded his thanks.

"And you weren't with him...?"

"Hey, we _know_ not to try and sneak out the side when DeMartino's doin' rounds."

"I hear _that_ hot shit," Jane muttered.

Daria handed off the remainder of her garlic knots to the boys and wiped her hands on a shredded paper napkin.

"I'm heading in," she announced, stretching, and slipped both boys some skin in parting. She nodded at Jane, who winked back and continued her conversation.

A quick glance showed the hallway was empty, and Daria made sure to leave the wooden triangle in the crack of the heavy door to insure her friends would be able to reenter without getting caught themselves. Then she pulled up her hood, buried her hands in her pockets and made her way to the second floor, slipped into a disused janitor's closet and closed the door behind her.

A quick check of her cell phone showed she was a few minutes early. She took the time to take a shot of Binaca, apply some peach lip gloss and check her teeth for pizza residue. While wondering where she might find some floss, a quick double-tap sounded from just inches to her right. Heart suddenly trip-hammering, she opened the door.

Big Mike stepped in and locked the door behind him. Smiling, he turned to Daria, eyes lidded, and rested his large hands on her shoulders.

"Hey, ma," he murmured, and she smiled up at him.

"Hey."

The two embraced, and remained locked together until the bell rang.


	3. A Typical Afternoon at Jefferson

**A Typical Afternoon at Jefferson**  
>421/11

Daria finished writing out a test sheet and highlighting all of the correct answers when a paper football hit her in the wrist. Frowning, she folded the test and stuck it into the side pocket of her cargo pants before looking around. Just as her eyes met the blonde, Baby Brit reached up and tugged her left hoop earring. Daria frowned deeper at the signal, and unfolded the football.

It held a single word in BB's distinctive curly handwriting: _Bathroom_.

And so about three minutes after BB procured a pass from O'Neill, Daria interrupted his Othello lecture mid-spiel and walked down the hall to see just what this was all about.

The bathroom was largely vacant, and a check turned up only one set of shoes: Baby Brit's pink and white Nike cross-trainers. The cheerleader stepped out of the stall and faced Daria, her usually bubbly expression gone and face solemn.

"So I guess you heard, huh?"

Daria leaned back against a sink and crossed her arms. She shrugged, noncommittal, and waited.

"Look, I need a favor-"

"If you want the answers to the sixth period geometry test, you'll have to wait until I've made copies."

"It's not that." Baby Brit shook her head, then turned to the mirror and pulled out her pigtails. Her hair fell down her back, held in check only by the half-cornrows along the top of her scalp. "Shawnika's spreading shit all over Jefferson about seeing me at Planned on Saturday. The only reason she knows is because she was there, too."

"Oh?" Daria was not usually one to get into rumor-mongering, but she was a girl who knew-and knew well-what information was worth. And to whom. "She get a flare-up of the big G?"

Brit managed a smile. "That was last month. Naw, she was there for an abortion."

Daria's eyes widened imperceptibly.

"I might be pregnant," Baby Brit shrugged and applied a fresh coat of lipstick, then checked the ball on her tongue ring. "And I might not. But if I am, I'm keeping _my_ baby."

"And what, you want me to spread Shawni's story around?" Daria frowned slightly. "You know I play the averages, BB. I don't stick my neck out."

BB turned from the mirror and faced Daria directly.

"I want you to spread the story to the right people. Two, maybe three. I'll even pay you full."

Daria was wavering. On the one hand, this was out of her usual comfort zone. On the other, she was about to get paid.

"What's in it for me?"

BB smirked, eyes sparkling. It was not an unfriendly expression, but one Daria knew to be wary of.

"I know about you and... _you_ know." She tipped a wink, and Daria felt her chest constrict; BB was Jodie's best friend. "I can respect a girl who knows what she wants, and he is _too_ fine-I don't blame you for taking a taste."

Daria fought the urge to deck the girl one.

"What do you want."

"Just what I said." She shrugged. "Nuttin else. Then we'll be even, and no one will ever have to know."

"And you'll still pay me."

"I'm payin' you, don't worry."

After a moment's deliberation, Daria nodded.

"Deal."

Money exchanged hands, and the girls went their respective ways.

Jane was wrestling with the veteran vending machine, cursing every third word as she tried to wrest her rightful candy from its coils.

"I heard something about Shawnika," Daria commented off hand, taking a bite out of a Baby Ruth. "'Bout why she was at Planned when she saw Baby Brit getting her test."

"_Puta madre!_" Jane kicked the machine, but it refused to yield her Mr. Goodbar. "Yeah? So what'd you hear?"

Daria dug in her pocket, looking for extra change.

"I hear she was _taking care_ of a little problem."

Jane froze in her assault, eyes wide, and looked at her friend.

"No shit?"

Daria shrugged and handed Jane fifty cents.

"'S'what I heard."

Jane took the coins and was preparing to insert them when a large, brown fist came out of nowhere and pounded the glass once, twice, and her candy fell into the release slot.

"Whoo!" Jane grinned and scooped up her candy bar. "Thanks, Mike!"

"Ain't nuttin." He glanced sidelong at Daria, then turned his eyes to the glass and appeared to be perusing the available snacks. "So where'd you hear that shit 'bout Shawni?"

Daria turned her face away, expression unreadable as usual. "Around."

The students waiting for their turn at the machines pretended not to listen, but Daria had picked the perfect place to spill the beans; better than twenty people had heard her little exchange, and more than a few of them had begun texting within seconds afterward.

"Around, huh?" He inserted a few coins into the slot, hit a number and watched as a package of Oreo's fell. "I been around today. I didn't hear shit."

"Well, maybe that's cuz you weren't around me."

"Yeah?" Mike stepped back to allow a freshman a chance at the machine. "Maybe I shoulda been."

With that, he walked off. Daria kept her eyes on the wall as Jane watched him go. With a tap on the shoulder, Daria nodded and the two walked off.


	4. A Typical Day After Jefferson

**A Typical Day After Jefferson**

"So is it Kev's?"

Daria shrugged, pulled the paper off of her straw and dropped it on the sidewalk. She had her hood down for once, and had abandoned her overcoat in her locker due to the warm weather.

"She didn't say, but if Kev wasn't with her, then I'm thinking no."

"Damn." Jane took a swig of her soda as the two approached their usual bus stop. Daria took the cut-down fire hydrant as a seat, and Jane leaned back against the bus stop sign, eyes on the passers by. "How was he today?"

Daria coughed, nearly sprayed soda out of her nose at the unexpected query then glared at her grinning friend.

"Am I to assume, _Miss_ Lane, that you're referring to my after-lunch bathroom brake?"

"You know." Jane's shaved eyebrow bounced a few times and her grin widened. "_You_ know." She turned her back, hands roaming over her sides as she made lewd sound effects and writhed in place. "Ai, papi! Ai, ai, s_uavemente, toca me ahi , ahi , ahiiiii!_"

Jane arched her back, then relaxed by degrees as a few boys at a bus stop across the street cat called and enjoyed the show.

"Ai, _papi_," Jane sighed, and turned back to her embarrassed friend with a huge cheese smile. "Bow chika wow wow."

"You were listening again, weren't you?"

Jane broke down in laughter, and Daria smirked.

"He forgot to take his chain off again." She unzipped her sweatshirt, pulled down the neck of her tank top and showed Jane a welt on her chest. It could be read with some effort as **Big M**. "And he gave me another hickey, but I can't complain."

The bus came rumbling down the street and Daria zipped her shirt back up. Jane blew a few kisses to her appreciative audience and the girls climbed aboard.

After flashing their bus passes at the disinterested driver, the girls moved to the back, where they were intercepted by Jodie and her friend Keysha, a girl who favored an orange blouse and gold hoop earrings.

"Hi, Jane," Jodie greeted in a pleasant enough voice, then turned her hard eyes on Daria. "Hi, _bitch_."

"What's the matter, Jodie?" Daria mock-pouted, hands slowly sliding out of her pockets. Jane very subtly shifted so that she and Daria were shoulder to shoulder and blocked the aisle from any possible interference or escape. "Another rat mistake your weave for its nest?"

"I heard you was makin' time with my man today."

"From who?"

"Tina R."

Daria thought back, and did seem to remember a flash of a brown blouse out of the corner of her eye while she was talking to Big Mike.

"Tina Rodriguez, huh?" Daria chuckled. "Now I know whose jaw to break when I'm done with you."

Jodie cracked her knuckles, then flex her fingers so that her acrylic nails curled like claws.

"We'll see."

Jodie lunged, Keysha right behind her, and Jane stepped in, leg snapping out like a shot. Keysha doubled over the tall boot, breath whooshing out and eyes wide, and Jane snapped her foot again. Keysha flew backward and lay on the floor, clutching her stomach and gasping.

Jodie's first swipe caught Daria in the left cheek and left bloody furrows in her pale skin. The second only combed through auburn hair, and in her moment of vulnerability as she overextended, Daria caught Jodie square in the jaw with her fist. The blonde staggered back, snarling, and came forward again. She stomped on Daria's left foot with her blue and white New Balance. Daria smirked, jerked the steel-toed boot out from under the sneaker and stomped down. Jodie's eyes flew open in pain.

_"YOU **BITCH!**"_

She lashed out blindly, caught Daria's ear with her fist, then her chin, arm, chest. Daria kept her arms up, thankful Jodie had not thought to go for the razor she kept taped to the inside of her jacket, and waited for an opening.

Jane started forward, blue eyes sparking and all humor gone from her usually jovial face, but Daria shifted to block the tall brunette. Jane grit her teeth, but stood down.

The bus lurched as it pulled up to another stop, and someone slapped the release button at the back doors. Daria chanced a glance, and saw one of Quinn's friends, the little cutie with the baseball cap and nervous eyes. She glanced at the open doors, then caught Daria's eye. Daria smirked, then nodded.

Daria took a few more hits as she lowered her arms and pushed Jodie back toward the doors. The black girl had the upper hand, with her greater upper body strength and stamina. She was captain of the varsity volleyball team, and also on the girls' basketball team. As far as Jodie was concerned, Daria was gone.

However, what Jodie was not aware of was Daria's wide web of influence...

"Your busted ass is goin' _down_," Jodie growled.

Daria grinned, took a step forward and swung her leg up in a vicious kick.

Jane stepped up next to her friend, expression vaguely amused as she watched Jodie roll around on the floor of the bus, hands between her legs as she cursed in pain.

"Goal," Jane laughed, and the friends bumped fists.

...and her willingness to fight dirty.

Jane's leg kicked out again, and Jodie went rolling down the steps and onto the sidewalk where she glared bloody murder at the white girls above her. A moment later, Keysha joined her.

"And for the record, _Miss_ Jodelia," Daria called in a breathless voice as she wiped blood out of her eye. "Tina was wrong. I wasn't making time with your man. When I was," she leaned forward, eyes narrowed as she wet her lips. "_No one was around to see_."

The doors swung shut as the bus trundled away from the curb. Daria dropped backward into a seat, dug in her pocket and removed what was left of the pack of Newports she had bought that morning. She tossed them to Stacy, who caught them and checked the pack before tucking them into her jacket pocket.

"Good looking out." Daria held her fist up, and Stacy tapped her knuckles soundly.

"No doubt," Stacy replied and walked back to her seat.

Jane sat across from Daria, eyes critical as they assessed the damage. Daria grinned savagely, and Jane returned it with a thin smirk.

"Just another day, huh?"

"Yeah, man."

They were silent the rest of the way home.

Thus ended another typical day for the students of Jefferson Lawndale High.

**End**.


	5. Epilogue

**A Typical Night Away from Jefferson**  
>422/11

The music was so loud, the beat could be felt through the floor outside of the club. Daria was down the block, standing in the back of the Tank collecting cash from her passengers. When every dollar was accounted for, she knocked twice on the sliding door. It was then pulled open, and someone stepped up and into the van. A moment later the door was pulled closed and, after counting out her percentage, Daria handed the cash to the new arrival.

He wore a North Face coat with fake fur around the hood, a du-rag over his ginger hair and two gold chains. One held a rather large medallion, the other a huge **UP**, the _P_ stuck to the side of the _U_. 'Up-Chuck' counted the cash and grinned, then handed Daria a stack of cards, which she then handed around to the assembled group. A few of them checked their new ID's, while the rest tucked them into pockets or slipped them into wallets. Then it was time to roll and, after making sure they were unobserved by the hairy eyeball of the Law, the group bounced.

Careful to spread out along the line, they waited for the bouncer to check their ID's and stepped into the Zon after paying the meager five dollar cover. Daria and Jane nodded to Bart, who waved them in without need of payment or verification of age. They headed directly to the bar for their pre-show beers. The bartender, Teddy, handed them each a bottle of Heineken then leaned over to study Daria's face with a critical eye.

"Got fucked up good, this time," he commented, vaguely impressed, and Daria smirked.

"I may look like shit," she assured him after a sip of beer. "But I still won."

"If you see a bitch with polyester hair stagger in here walking bow-legged," Jane tossed over her shoulder. "You'll know who the loser was."

The girls clinked the necks of their bottles together, and walked off toward the stage to greet their companions.

Daria usually wore her normal school clothes out, but when they were at the Zon, she took the effort to dress up some. Tonight she wore a pair of cargo capris, her black combat boots, a black tank top and a short black denim jacket. Her face was covered in scratches on the left side, and a few bruises peppered her pale skin here and there. She had made no effort to cover them, and had done nothing more for her scratches than clean them and cover them with disinfectant balm. A few band aids were scattered over the deeper scratches, but that was all.

Jane was in a pair of tight gray booty shorts with ripped-up fishnets, her usual boots, a red cap-sleeved blouse that matched the streaks in her hair and left a large part of her abdomen bare. A black hoodie hung low on her arms. Her tattoos, belly ring and the straps of her red thong were in perfect view of all present.

Joey and Jeffy greeted the girls warmly. Joey draped an arm around Daria's middle and hugged, while Jeffy leaned close and took her chin in one hand to examine her wounds.

"_Daaaaamn_, girl," Jeffy winced in sympathy. "Jodie took a nice piece outta you, ma."

Daria shrugged. "I gave as good as I got. Ain't no big."

"That's my tough bitch," Joey praised, and Daria slipped an arm around him and squeezed affectionately. Though having a little sister was trying at times, she could not deny that the little brothers she had gotten out of the deal were well worth it.

Quinn and her posse were at the other end of the club, surrounded by guys eager to cater to their every need. Jamie was there as well, and though he seemed to be hanging on Quinn's every word as usual, he occasionally spared a longing glance at his friends where they stood with Daria and her people.

Chuck came over and directed their attention to the stage just as the lights dropped and the canned music cut off. Chuck jumped up to the turn table at the back corner and got into position.

"Here it comes," Jane sighed, and waited for the bomb to drop.

The strobe lights came up first. They started slow, but as the band trooped onstage and took up their respective instruments and positions, the lights picked up momentum. Chuck scratched out a beat just as the singer came up to his microphone and started the first song, a fan favorite.

"Black angel, dark seraphim,  
>Freezin' my heart, never cared for him<br>Enough to stop cryin', lyin', dyin'  
>Shovin' me back-bitch, you ain't even tryin'!<p>

"Icebox bitch!  
>Stupid trick!<br>Down on love, to you it don't mean shit!

"Waitin' in vain,  
>Frozen in pain,<br>Think I'm still there? Bitch-you must be insane!

"Said yee-ah!"

"_YEE-AHH!_" the crowd responded. Daria shook her head, smirk threatening to break into a a full-fledged smile.

"Said yee-ah!"

"_YEE-AHH!_"

"When I say icebox, you say bitch!

"Icebox-"

"_BITCH!_"

"Icebox-"

"_BITCH!_"

"When I say stupid, you say trick!

"Stupid-"

"_TRICK!_"

"Stupid-"

"_TRICK!_"

"Yeeeeah, boy!"

Jane was laughing freely now, leaning back against one of the basketball guys who had just joined the team this year. His hair was styled in something like a Caesar cut, and his hands roamed over Jane's exposed skin hungrily. He turned and caught Daria's eye, and they shared a smirk.

"When I say Mystik, you say Mayhem!

"Mystik-"

"_MAYHEM!_"

"Say _what ? !_"

"_**MAYHEM!**_"

"That's right, bitches! I'm Lazy Trent Lane, that's Jess on guitar, Ni-Kay on bass, and Max Pain on drums. And over here scratchin'," Trent pointed his fingers like a gun and Chuck hit a machine gun sound effect at just that exact moment. The crowd screamed. "Is Randy Chuck Rutts. Give him some love!"

Quite a few girls screamed for the skinny redhead, and Chuck pointed at several, going so far as to flash his solid-gold grill and wink at a few overzealous freshmen.

Trent went on to introduce Jane and Daria, who appropriately shouted the tall man down, though they were quite obviously pleased by the attention. Then the Mayhem shot into their next song, which was easy to dance to while ignoring the lyrics. Joey pulled his cap off, parked it on Daria's head and pulled her out onto the floor before she could protest. Rather than give him a whack and retreat, she danced with him. After all, they _had_ come to celebrate, and there was a first time for everything.

After a few songs, Daria excused herself to the bathroom where she once again ran into Baby Brit.

"Hey, Dee." Daria nodded her greeting. "I heard about Shawnika about three minutes after you mentioned it downstairs. Thanks."

Daria shrugged. "Ain't no thing. Just doing what I was paid for."

"Kev's waiting." On impulse, Brit reached over and trapped Daria in a brief hug. "That's for helping me, and for putting Jodie in her place. Bitch had it coming."

And with that, she bounced out the door and was gone.

As Daria was checking her face in the mirror, a stall door opened behind her and Big Mike stepped out. He was dressed in his thuggish best, jeans hugging his lower hips and boxers in plain view. He wore a Jordan Bulls jersey over a black tee shirt and his huge gold chain sat in pride of place.

"BB set this up." It was not a question. Daria turned to face the tall boy as he walked close and took her upper arms in his large hands. His eyes scanned her various cuts and bruises, expression serious.

"How you doin'?"

Daria pulled back slightly, but her lower back pressed against the sink; there was nowhere to go.

"You heard about me and Jodie." He nodded. "Well?"

"I'm not gonna fight your battles, mama."

Daria frowned at the noncommittal reply.

"How 'bout we go out back?" Mack brushed her forehead with his lips. "Have us a little intermission."

Daria huffed a frustrated sigh and pushed at his chest.

"What about Jodie?"

His hand came up and removed the cap covering her hair.

"Whose this?"

Daria blinked at the apparent non-sequitur. "Joey's."

Mike sighed. "I gonna hafta talk to him, tell him to keep his hands offa my girl?"

Daria's eyebrows twitched a quarter inch upward.

"Your girl?"

Big Mike smiled, expression softening as his head lowered to within a hair's breadth of her lips.

"_My_ girl."

Daria smiled and plucked the hat from his hand, then replaced it on her head.

"No," she answered as she planted her hands firmly on his chest, pushing with considerably more force. Mike moved about two inches, then stopped. "You're going to stay the fuck away from my people, the same way I stay the fuck away from yours." She smirked up at him. "Feel me?"

Big Mike's hands slid down her back and cupped her ass, squeezing firmly.

"Oh, I _feel_ you."

Daria glanced at the bathroom door, then at the emergency exit at the back of the bathroom. The alarm was broken, had been for years, and a heavy cement block sat beside the door—an improvised doorstop. She calculated the amount of time left in Mayhem's first set, then grinned wickedly, a subtle expression that transformed her features dramatically.

"Let's go out back and make some music."

The couple disappeared out the back door under cover of night, the heavy bass beat of Mystik Mayhem's _Dawg Days_ covering their retreat and drowning out Daria's elated laughter as Mike scooped her up in his arms and carried her away.

**The End (for real this time)**.

PPMB "Ghetto Daria" Iron Chef.


End file.
